Hello readers, it's 7am and I thought it would be a good time to talk about the representation of phallic imagery in wargames. Every game has a model that brings this about. Just a moment to look at some of the things that stand out.
Extremely Large Swords
Many models carry massive swords which they swing in the air, often above their head in a pose that is reminiscent of the phrase "Hey you guys! Look what I found!". The model generally seems quite pleased with it's self.
The Extremely Long Barrelled Gun
Every model range has a model carrying an improbably long barrelled gun. They either carry it resting it against their shoulder as the weight could be detrimental to their battlefield ability, or looking down the long smooth shaft at their next kill. Because of the air of singularity this creates in the model, the gun becomes an extension of the body and in a way the ultimate representation of the metaphysical penis.
Lances and by way, Spears
Lances have a long fluted appearance which narrows out towards the tip. Models carrying lances either look like they at rest the "Erect" pose with the tip pointing to the sky. Or in the aggressive thrusting pose with the lance end dipped down to penetrate the target. Alongside the spear, it is the ultimate melee example of the phallus, again acting to extend the body and penetrate the target.
And on that note, I'll end. So what are your thoughts about phallic representation in miniatures? Please leave comments. :D
Wednesday, 28 April 2010
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It's probably to do with repressed pack dynamics from the older, more animalistic centres of the brain. Either that or you all like it up the bumhole.
ReplyDeleteInterestingly, while able to cope with metaphor and humour, the average sci fi/fantasy gamer is incredibly squeamish when it comes to actual representations of male genitalia on minis.
I qualified that last statement because anyone who plays Celtic/Greek armies will have a fair few drunken nutjobs with no kecks on in their forces.
A classic case in point was a mate of mine who objected to the gear that Heresy's Netherlord demon came with. He actually tried to tell me, a Roman Catholic mind you, that all demons were androgynous and that was why his model wasn't having a big cock on it.
After a half hour of fruitless nagging I gave up and nicked the offending Netherwang for use in a conversion later on.
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ReplyDeleteWhy did I read offending Netherwang as Vendarant Nalalabarong?
ReplyDeleteTurbo Penetrator Rounds. Phallic Imperial Death, fired from a Long Hot Weapon. "Taste my turbo penetrator xenos filth!!" a fapafapafapfapa
Orks, bunch of lads led about by their Nobs - a defined heirarchy based solely on size. Anyone who buys into the abbreviation of Noble is silly.
Don't let's even get started on the trend for female warcasters to be armed with spears... A long hard shaft, a weapon to grasp onto, to keep you steady in times of weakness, panting...
"But doesn't Gaspy have a staff?"
...
What? Liches can't like the cock?
Hell, let's get some Freud in here. He'd like it even MORE - Supreme Penis Envy/Remorse. Why else did he turn a rival Lich into his new Wang?
"Bitch, you are so much my bitch you will become my PENIS REPLACEMENT!!"
Don't tell me that's not emasculating...for all parties... :( Sad Gaspy.
so i figure theres nothing like a good old visual example, this miniature falls under category 2 he emasculates us all by saying "its so big, i need 4 fucking arms to use it"
ReplyDeletehttp://losthemisphere.files.wordpress.com/2009/12/titan_cannoneer.jpg
not sure on which code to use here, but i trust everyone knows what copy and paste is.
cheers