Dealing with Cheaters: Warning Signs

Cheaters are another variety of cunt and in wargaming they are frowned upon wherever they play. From the guy who's army list is 250 points over in a game of Warhammer 40'000 all the way to the guy to plays down the clock in a timed Warmachine game. Nobody likes cheaters, they play the game and selectively break the rules to benefit themselves.

The Exception: Accidental Cheating.
Bad players aren't necessarily cheaters, if someone forgets a rule I think it's not a bad idea to remind them. In some cases the game can throw up things that could be misidentified as cheating. For example not stating what type of cover save a certain piece of terrain is or whether a piece works differently than the way it seemed. In a lot of historical wargames, you have a games master. These guys are there to make sure things like this don't happen, they arbitrate the rules and keep the games pace flowing. Not everyone has access to an independent observer when playing a game. When moments like these happen, it can genuinely be an accident.

Food for thought: A real cheater on tape.
Here we have a total cunt playing Warhammer 40'000 in a tournament environment. The player has been black listed for tournament play and his serial bullshit is rather extreme. So give the video a watch and see if you can spot where he's cheating. If you don't play Warhammer 40'000 just give it a look and watch for things that are types of cheating irrespective of game system.


Now that you've seen the video, how many examples of cheating did you witness? I've gone a written down all the things I've seen. From model surfing to out right impossible moves and loose taping. Here's some things I've seen in the past.

Model Surfing
Model Surfing is the act of moving models in a fashion that places them further than they should have been able to move. For example, if a model could only move 6" it is moved 8" or 9" with a surf. So how do they get away with it? They move the models correctly then shove them so that the models at the front get further than they should have been able to go or by moving models at the back of a unit and measuring but then placing models in front further than they should have been able to go. In the video it's done at the 3:00 mark with a unit of Warp Spider that can move 12" but with a bit of a bump and squeeze they end up getting that little bit further. Dealing with model surfers can be tough, but the best way I've found is the use of your finger. Put it down so that the edge of it is the furthest limit the model could move and then get them to move the models. That way, they cannot move the models further than they have gone with surfing as your finger is directly interposed to stop surfing.

Loose Taping
Loose Taping is the ability to measure distances that you shouldn't be able to do. It is basically bad tape measure etiquette as it requires that the tape measure is extended for measuring when models are not being moved or any actions in game being declared. For example, if a unit can move 12" it is legal to measure up to 12" and move it. But to measure up to 15" inches and then move it 6" is loose taping. The distance didn't need to be measured but it wasn't used to verify the distance that a model moved. In Hordesmachine it is the ability of a measuring the movement of a SPD 6 model out to 12" and then moving it 4" and stating that it advanced and did not run. This is another example of loose taping. To deal with loose tapers, get them to confirm every action they make in the game and ask why the tape is out if no models are being moved. A simple, "Are you measuring something?" to "Is that model gonna run? If not, why are you measuring 12"?"

God-Mode or Indestructable Units
This is the breaking of the rules by using bad notation and counters. For example in Warhammer 40'000 a unit of single wound models taking five wounds with no saves possible having only 4 models removed. Or a Hive Tyrant with two wounds remaining being notified by a dice being placed near him with a "3" facing upward being changed to three wounds remaining because the dice has "3" facing upwards denoting wounds remaining. In Hordesmachine, it's the miss notation of damage to a model. For example a Khador warjack takes 16 points of damage in column 1. Five points fills column 1, 6 points fills column 2 and then 5 more point fill column 3. For a total of 5 + 6 + 5 = 16. If your opponent notes less points than the damage inflicted, then they are cheating. To get around someone using this trick, have them mark the damage in front of you where you can see where it goes or even count with them as they mark the damage down. If you are worried, just back track the damage or changes made to the models grid/spiral. In Warhammer, ask questions during play. As wargaming requires two people to play, it's not a game of silence. Ask how many wounds the Hive Tyrant has left and make note. Or ask how many wounds were inflicted and count the models removed. Back tracking is your friend. Use it.

Fast Rolling or Dice Obscuring
Fast Rolling is a method of cheating that requires that the dice are rolled and then the success dice are picked up, but the speed at which it's done allows the cheater to pick up dice that were not successes. Like old scams back in the day, the faster it's done the harder it is to spot. Dice Obscuring is a similar method that allows the player to obscure the result on the dice. For example rolling dice into a group of other dice and picking out the dice that were successes or rolling dice behind a terrain feature so that it's hard for your opponent to see what the dice results are. Some players go so far as to buy dice that a terribly hard to read on purpose. If the dice is heavily mottled, the pips clashing with the mottling then chances are that your opponent needs to get a different set of dice. To deal with this method of cheating ask them to use a different set of dice. To deal with fast rollers ask them to slow down and count the dice out that are successes with them. With dice obscuring ask them to roll the dice again out in the open. Again, it's a matter of politeness to talk while you play. Ask questions and watch your opponent carefully.

Terrain Whores
Terrain Whores are people who seek out terrain that will specifically help their army to the fullest and place it on the battlefield to help their forces out. For example a player with an artillery heavy army who looks for a fortified building to place in their deployment zone. This is cheating as the battlefield should be arranged by both players before the game has started. I've even seen players go so far as to hide certain pieces of terrain so that they can be placed on the battlefield before deployment to best affect their army. Aside from cheating, it's also a very cowardly move as it provides no effort on their part to find a terrain piece and place it where it will have maximum effect. The best way to stop this is move terrain around on the battlefield together. If they object to you moving the offending piece around the table, just state that you'll remove it and place something different on the table.

Imaginary Army Lists
Some players don't write army lists. This is a very very dangerous form of cheating because without an army list you have no idea what your opponent has taken in their army and what is in their army. They could literally place any models on the table they like and there would be nothing that states what they actually have in their list. Some games have secret lists, but to an extent only certain things are secret. For example in Infinity, the location of your armies Lieutenant is secret and in Warhammer, Magic Items are secret also. But both these games have systems in built for hidden mechanisms. Remember, that if it's not on the paper what's it doing on the table? Ask your opponent for their list, and they should happily provide it for you. If not, why not?

Imaginary Rules
Some cheaters will create rules for their models that aren't provided in the game. For example, taking an existing model and saying that it does something different. In some games it can be really hard to make out if your opponent is cheating, but the best thing to do is ask to read their unit's rules. In Warmachine, models come with statistic cards and their rules are provided on there. In Warhammer, army books contain the rules needed for units and their abilities. If in doubt, ask them to read their unit's rules. No harm can be done by just finding out whether a model does what your opponent says it does.

Remember, that wargames take time and effort to play. It's your game as much as it's your opponents so if in doubt check with them and ask loads of questions. Don't waste two hours playing someone and then find out that they are a fucking cheater and then the game was a waste of time. It's a game at the end of the day, and more so than the winner or loser it's the way it's played that counts.